Matthew 18: 15-35
Psalm 32: 1-2
It is
hard to believe that this time last week I was in sunny Florida! The day after
we got off the boat we had a day or so at the beach before flying back home.
I think
most of you heard before I went that the topic of the course was “Conflict
Transformation!”
Note:
transformation; not resolution. Not about compromise but about living through conflict
and allowing it to transform us and the situation we find ourselves in.
I arrived
home Tuesday; and discovered that one or two things occurred in my absence!
When I
finally got around to reading the set readings for today I was a little surprised!
God’s ways are not our ways! God works to bring us into opportunities to
examine where we are; who we are and what we can do to repair damage in our
lives.
I want
to share a story of an encounter that happened during our course. It was really
interesting I should add; and was about preparing the ground so that when
conflict does occur we are best equipped to deal with it. So that when conflict
occurs, it doesn’t have to mean to end of everything for anyone.
One of the topics was
about what happens when we “discount” another person or group. The premise is simple;
by our actions or our words we can do or say something which makes another
individual feel bad, or worthless, or unvalued.
As this was explained,
one of our number stood up and told the whole group that twice during the last two
days she had been discounted.
She then sat down again;
with no further explanation.
The whole room was left
feeling stunned. And just about everyone was left wondering if she has said or
done something.... it was then lunch time; and we departed.
When the next session
began, one of the group stood to ask a question of our presenter. What happens
when a group is so distracted that they cannot continue? How do we deal with
it?
You stop things and name
it so you can move on, came the reply.
OK, so I stop things and
meet it?
Yes.
OK, I’m stopping things!
Heck!!! I, just wanted
to sink into the floor! Americans have this infinite capacity to meet things
head on; to deal and clear and move on.
She proceeded to say
that the whole group had been discounted by things said; immediately the
earlier speaker stood up to say “you mean me?”
It felt dreadful!
However – what happened
next taught me something very valuable.
The gal who felt
discounted came forward, explained what the two things had been – it was a
group reaction to something she’d said. And the air was cleared.
The issue, suddenly
became a non issue because it was out there
It was in the open and
it was dealt with.
It had no more power.
Today’s
reading is a long one; it deals with discipline; forgiveness; and
reconciliation.
It is
no accident this comes at the beginning of the Lenten season: Lent is all about
repentance, about turning round; about new starts and clean slates. About naming
the hurt and moving forward.
There
are (for me) three key verses for us to consider: v17: in relation to dealing
with a personal sin against us: if your friend will not listen eventually you
should treat him like a tax collector.
v. 22
on forgiveness: “Not seven times, but seventy times seven” forgive more times
than you can keep tally of.
v.
34b-35 on our own response to God’s forgiving grace: if we do not let it change
us: if we cannot forgive others: God will cast us away.
Tax Collectors:
the very epitome of unwanted, outcast: the least worthy member of the
community. Yet. Who did Jesus choose to
eat with? Who did Jesus welcome as one of his own? Whose gospel are we reading
today? Yep! Matthew, the Tax Collector. So, when we find we cannot live with,
or work alongside someone, what do we do? Hand them over to Jesus to do the
loving and living for us!
Sometimes
the hurt goes too deep; it is too new, too painful.
God knows
God understands
If we
skip forward to the parable of the unforgiving servant: this servant has encountered
the King; has been forgiven a huge debt; has received unconditional grace. Yet he
doesn’t allow it to change him; to touch him. It doesn’t help him to see his
own behaviour in the light of the King’s generosity. Remember, a few weeks
back? Blessed (happy/ lucky) are the merciful? For they will be shown mercy.
Yet the
servant in the parable cannot move forward; he is stuck in his old ways.
God’s
grace is ours
God’s
forgiveness is ours
Our
capacity to forgive, to act with grace and love and generosity needs to be
filled by God. Sometimes we are not ready to take the step
God knows
God understands
God
takes our own hard hearts and will gently hold, soften, warm us, until we can
move forward.
Go back
to Peter’s question.
Peter,
who needed to understand for himself what a truly godly disposition can be:
Peter,
the silly, impetuous, hasty, loving, loyal buffoon.
Peter
– who got it so wrong, so often, but was still considered worthy of trust
He thought
he could quantify love and grace and forgiveness
Keep a
tally
Keep count
How many
times?
Seven
seems enough – yes?
No,
Peter. No. Not seven, but seventy seven; seventy times seven – more times than
you can keep count of; more often than you can ever imagine.
Because
– God knows.
God will forgive you anything and everything
Peter
So,
you should try to do the same.
And so
should we.
I know
that words have been said in the heat of the moment.
I know
that some of these words felt personal, hurtful, unforgiveable
Yet.
Here’s
the things
Not only
seven times
But seven
times seventy times
Jesus
showed us the real capacity that grace gives for forgiveness
Jesus
Hanging
on the cross
Dying
for sin
Dying
for pain, and hurt, and hasty words and broken hearts
Jesus,
bleeding so that all sin
All sins
Are washed
away
Jesus’
words: Father, forgive them
Jesus
managed it
Treat
each other like tax collectors: like Jesus treated tax collectors
Love
Love unconditionally
and forgive without count
So will
our Father in heaven treat us
Amen
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