Monday, 27 September 2010

Rising to the Challenge

It is "Put your money where your mouth is" time!

This is good.
Over the past few weeks I have experienced the whole range of emotional extremes from despair to elation and back again. And finally, I am going to get back on that Horse!
I will preach in a friend's church and be strengthened, empowered, renewed, emboldened and hopefully - affirmed.

Having the luxury of taking time out so that I can reflect and consider the future is a real bonus; rediscovering me, and my relationship with God; time to remember that I did not choose him, but he chose me to bear friut; remembering that He knows the plans he has for me; remembering that there is nowhere I can go that the love of God will not find me; and that there is nothing I can do that will separate me from the Love of God through Jesus Christ.

how blessed we are, when we remember
how blessed to put things back together again
how blessed to simply be

whether things come to fruition over the next few weeks or not I will follow where He leads; I will know that he guides me and blesses me. And the future is His

let go - let God

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


From despondency to hope
From weariness to energy
From darkness to light

Broadening the search has led to a surprise result - a profile which fits like a glove both ways!!
Their description of a minister is me; and my description of a parish is them.

Now to wait on the Lord... test this dawn of calling...

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

Flotsam and Jetsam

Today as I walked on the beach it seemed to speak to me - reflecting my life as it is just now

From the safety of the grassy bank
to large rocks - all tumbled together, no firm footing anywhere, but still beauty there

and then to larger rocks, firm, embedded and steady offering resilience and sanctity

and then more rocks, decreasing in size until they are just pebbles disappearing under my feet and pushing together provide thier own stability

Finally reaching the sand - sometimes obstructed by large clumps of weed; or the flotsam and jetsam that has washed up and will be washed again on the next high tide; if it is dry it takes effort to walk on it, when wet, it offers a firmer footing - but even if it looks firm, until you step onto it, you do not know... you need to take that step!!

Over the past two weeks, i have contacted numerous vacant charges from The List, only to discover that 6 had already found someone; 1 had problems and was not taking applications, 1 was just too big... another just wrong... 5 I have visited which put 4 of those out!!
I have 2 left one I've visited properly, the other is so far away I'll have to plan an overnight

Where am I?
Hiding in the driftwood?

Saturday, 18 September 2010


I used to be an impulse sort of girl
I'd see something and just go for it
But lately it seems that I am much more hesitant
I used to always have the answers - I'd know what I wanted and I would step on out and grab it with enthusiasm
But lately my confidence has been less sure, less certain, and so I find I cannot just go out there and grab life with both hands.

Is the recent past the only thing that is to blame?
Or is it that the years have taught me that hasty decisions are repented at leisure?
Is impetuousness always a bad idea?

Sometimes we will only know the answer after we take courage in hand and make that leap; for it is only then that we truly know.
Indiana Jones had to make his leap of faith, exhorted by his Father- beleive boy, beleive... for him the light dawned as he looked across a seemingly bottomless cavern - no logic, no science, no facts to back up the proposed action - just faith
A Leap of Faith
it's A Leap of Faith

am I brave enough to take the leap???

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Sunday Morning

It is a blowy blustery Sunday morning - Autumn is on the air and Scotland is on my mind.

I was callenged this week to broaden my horizons - I was reminded that there are churches seeking ministers in every region and not just the North East. I was asked what I was afraid of - just because the North East is familiar and has been home for more than 20 years! So I have broadened my horizons and contacted 9 (yes- 9!) vacant charges.
There is great movement abroad just now. I suspect it is the time of year (shiny new probationers given leave to apply) and the general climate of change within our church.
If anyone was even pondering a move, now is the time to go - as Presbyteries up and down the country begin a period of adjustment to incorporate the swingeing cuts that are about to take place. So out of those nine, five are well on in thier process, two have 'issues' with the manse and must wait until they are sorted, and so two remain. Both have things which attract me, but one seems to appeal more than the other... time will tell!

This Sunday morning I am continuing my foray into visiting friends' churches. This is a definite bonus of being off; a chance to attend worship, to be led into worship, and not to lead others. Last time I was in this particular church was for an induction. Looking forward to going back - many friends there.

Autum blows in and the world changes its clothes - from the brilliant yellow of summer, to the glorious gold and red of Autumn - how wondrous is the artist who created such magnificence!

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

banks - necessary evil

I am pondering our banking system
nowadays it is impossible to actually function without a bank - we are paid direct to the bank; our shopping is mostly cashless; our financial lives are centred not around coins and notes but small pieces of plastic which we trust and rely upon with impunity
I am pondering the banking system as I have just been witness to what on any other day woud appear to be robbery: an overdraft that is growing, not because of spending but because the account is overdrawn; the longer it stays overdrawn the bigger the overdraft will get and every day the bank charges the account another £20. This it can do 10 times per month, plus a monthly fee.
The account holder in question went to the bank to ask for help; the 'insurance' that he has been paying for the past three years whilst he was employed is supposed to offer unemployment protection, but because he chose to leave his last job the insurance will not cover his present unemployment. It is not his fault that the job he was supposed to go to did not materialise; when he was asked if he had any money to pay to them to rectify the situation, he said he had £20. They asked him for it - when he asked if it would make a difference they said not, but still would like his money. When he asked them how he was supposed to eat for the rest of the week...
How can it be, that when our banks make obscene amounts of money, and obscene losses, and are now partly owned by us the tax payers, that they are able to continue to charge vast amounts of money, making a bad situation ten times worse, and we are helpless to do anything about it

I am pondering banks... a necessary evil

Friday, 3 September 2010

thoughts from beside the sea...

I am taking time out
I did not plan to... indeed I had thought that right now I'd be settling into a new home and a new place.
This little blog was deleted, and today restored.
Last time I wrote here it was the end of June and I was full of hope and anticipation

This little blog was the source of the first tremor: too personal, too naive apparently - laying myself open to malicious gossip. Having now reread everything I had written (not much) I still do not understand why (and to be frank, no one seemed to pick up on its exisitence anyway!!) it is all fairly inocuous.
But, things did eventually move; I preached for the charge and all seemed to be well. Until it was discovered that to elect an Interim Moderator was to act Ultra Vires - outwith the law. Oh GOSH!!
A deal of legal wrangling followed (church legal of course!) and the upshot was no, she may not move.
I think the pain expereinced by people I have grown to love over this time is the biggest scandal in all of this. For me, my confidence has taken a knock; and my belief in the innate goodness of people has been rather shaken. But I am a silver-lining girl; my glass is nearly always half-full.

I have been extraordinarily stressed by it all; and I am off work for a while. Taking refuge at Ar Fasgadh - the newly christened house by the sea. Had been pondering giving it a name, and in the past 3 or 4 weeks it has been a haven- Ar Fasgadh means Our Haven.

Next week a whole series of metings will happen; for me and for others. And maybe, just maybe we will get some resolution in all of this mess.

Meantime, I take refuge in my home by the sea; watching the changing tides. Marvelling at beautiful sunrise and sunset and the most surreal moonrises.
Working when I feel like it (on the house)
resting as the mood takes me
and contemplating the future

there is nowhere we can go that is too far away from our Creator: He is as ever a constant presence in my life; inspiring, guiding, nurturing and when the time is right, prompting and inspiring the new direction.