Tuesday, 19 October 2010
Dreams and Visions
Just ruminating this morning on how strange life can be - and thanking God that we do not know the future
When I look back, a few weeks, months... then a couple of years, five, ten and twenty I ponder the girl I knew then and am stunned
If anyone had told her the things she'd do; the places she'd go; and the paths her life would take - she'd have laughed with incredulity; or been appalled; or terrified!
Waiting, waiting, for answers, for movement, for resolution, for something to happen
and in the waiting... lies a modicum of frustration
Needing targets and a sense of urgency to be truly productive means that when there is nothing specific in the immediate future I become very unfocussed
This in itself is not a new revelation, I have long known it about myself; what is new however, is the sense of dissatisfaction I have; instead of happily filling my hours with trivia I find I am drifting from one thing to another, never actually finishing things.
So today I ponder dreams and visions - trying to grasp the elusive vision that was once so clear; trying to get a stronger awareness of the things I dreamed and dream of for the future
I do not seek knowledge, or specifics, simply to regain the sense of walking a path that God has chosen and being led by Him towards my future - whatever that is...
and I pray that I may never fall into the trap of self-righteousness but wait patiently for the way to be lit before me